


Dissociation

by TrashStash



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Caretaking, Derealization, Dissociation, Gen, idk what else to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 04:58:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10236401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashStash/pseuds/TrashStash
Summary: diˌsōSHēˈāSH(ə)n,diˌsōsēˈāSH(ə)nNOUNthe disconnection or separation of something from something else or the state of being disconnected.•CHEMISTRYthe splitting of a molecule into smaller molecules, atoms, or ions, especially by a reversible process.•PSYCHIATRYseparation of normally related mental processes, resulting in one group functioning independently from the rest, leading in extreme cases to disorders such as multiple personality.





	

**Author's Note:**

> TW for (sorta) detailed description of dissociation and derealization.  
> If you have DID or any other mental illness that has dissociation/derealization as a symptom read at your own risk, alright, this is from _my_ own experience with it (as well as other symptoms just to change it a bit), so it can _potentially_ resemble your experience.  
>  Alrighty, here we go :

Bruce shivered. Turning off his phone, he pulled the blanket over himself, the cold sticking to the clammy skin of his feet and hands. He felt nausious both from being on his phone this late (1:41 AM), and from the draft that went through the apartment. He tucked the blanket under his feet, and closing his eyes he breathed through it.

He could hear Matt's keyboard, dully clacking through the walls. It was enough to comfort knowing someone else was awake, but turning his back away from the door he felt the relief of the nausea lifting away as he got comfortable. He shifted around for a few minutes, but all at once he fell asleep.

-

He realized he was awake when he heard Matt still on his computer, the clacking still dully coming through. He opened his eyes, the heaviness of sleep still strong as he looked over his shoulder, feeling for his phone. Finding it he checked the time, squinting his eyes from the brightness before turning it off when he got the time.

2:21 AM.

Bruce closed his eyes again and fell back to sleep.

-

He kept his eyes closed when he woke up. Even with them closed he still realized that there was a brightness that wasn't there before, and curiosity on what time it was he opened his eyes. Through the curtains he saw that it was indeed, brighter outside, the sky being a lighter blue. He looked over his shoulder to find his phone, and checking the time he decided to get up.

5:57 AM

Bruce did his best to keep quiet. The cool apartment floor gave him goosebumps as he walked down the hall, but once he reached the kitchen he stopped abruptly. 

The weird feeling was back, but as he looked around the kitchen he felt that it wasn't _real,_ that none of it was real; it was all just a painting, that it was 2D. 

He stared, breathed. In a sudden panic he thought that maybe he was still asleep.

_Something's behind you_

Bruce inhaled sharply and turned around. He felt his chest tighten up at the sight of a dark figure, and stumbling back he felt himself bump into the counter.

Blinking, he saw that the figure was actually his and Matt's coats. 

He felt frightened, and now, in the dull light of the morning he was pinned in the kitchen. He felt trapped. The tightness of his chest had him try to find himself, and that was to latch onto the counter and squeeze, the pressure the only thing that was here, that was in the kitchen. He squeezed, the fear and confusion all too much to try stay in his body, _that_ body-

-and what?

He wasn't here anymore. This wasn't him. 

His place, the place in front of him was gone. Someone replaced it with a painting? _No_ , Bruce thought as he looked around, _it's a picture_

He watched as this body let go of the counter and start to walk into the living room, but each step it took he felt. He felt the pressure of each step, a sensation in his legs from movement,  but he couldn't understand why.

He heard the creaking and the thumping of the steps. He couldn't understand why he was here, and he stood still when he felt his hand twitch.

His hand? 

He had a hand. He looked down, seeing his hand twitch slightly, and bringing it up he stared at it.

 _So I have a hand_ , Bruce thought. He stared at it for a few seconds longer, before he squeezed it shut, only to reopen it slowly.

 _Weird_ , he thought, _that's_ _weird_

He did it again. The shape of his hand confused him, it confused him but all of a sudden there was a dull, yellow light turning on behind him and turning around he saw

"Bruce?" Matt asked tiredly

Bruce stared at his friend. He examined him, slowly, confused. It seemed like time slowed down, Matt just standing there watching him

"I don't know" Bruce said after a second. He hesitated, as this voice sounded different to him "I just- I just uh, I was just"

Bruce stopped, staring confusedly at the floor. Matt glanced down at his hands, seeing as he squeezed them closed over and over. Matt sighed, and rubbing his face he got himself more awake when he realized that,

 _Bruce was disassociating_.

It didn't happen often, but he'd seen it before. When he went to move in with him he knew that he would witness it more often, and blinking hard to concentrate he cleared his throat

 "Bruce, hey" Matt said as he walked up to him "You're in the living room, it's six-twenty four in the morning"

Matt saw Bruce look back at him

 _Got his attention_ "You're in the living room" Matt repeated

Bruce could feel a hand grab his arm, and he took a step back from the sensation. Looking down he saw the hand was attached to Matt's.

Matt let go. _Okay_ , Matt thought, _that's not going to work right now._

"Do you want to sit down?" He asked, despite already going to sit down on the floor himself. He knew that Bruce would follow his lead.

Matt watched as Bruce also stared to sit down with him. _Good_.

They say down, Matt watching Bruce carefully as he seemed to feel the floor. His fingers brushed the textured wood, and Matt started on the routine list they had.

"Bruce" he said "Bruce, we're in the living room, do you want to look and see the living room?"

Bruce looked up at him, and already Matt saw him look more _here_. _I wonder how long he was down here_ , he thought.

Bruce looked around. 

Bruce saw the familiar setting of their place, the couch, the TV, the table. He realized that he was here, in the living room, with Matt confirming that. 

Matt tried again with having contact. He scooted closer, going beside Bruce so that their shoulders touched. Bruce didn't react, but he didn't retract, so Matt took it as progress. 

"It's six-thirty five in the morning" Matt said. 

Bruce looked at him. He felt the warmth of him, in his arm and torso, and he realized that he was here, with Matt in the living room.

"Six-thirty five" Bruce repeated

Matt nodded "You were in the kitchen"

Bruce got confused "But I'm in the living room?"

 _Oops_ "Yes, you are," Matt responded "You're in the living room" 

They sat in silence again. Matt gave him time to come back, letting Bruce lean against him, giving some push back.

"What time is it?" Bruce asked

"Six-thirty one" Matt responded

Silence

"You hungry?" Matt asked

Silence

Matt looked at Bruce, who, slowly looking at him, nodded

"Yeah" Bruce said

Matt nodded "Let's get up then" 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been really off for the past few weeks. I'm sorry for all the hiatuses, but it just hasn't been that _great_.  
>  *Throws unedited vent fic into the void*


End file.
